Of nightmares, losses and a reality check

I woke up to a nightmare of losing someone very close to me. Perhaps it was the effect of watching back to back episodes of Monk last night. But it felt so real...


I was unable to find that person, so were the search teams as they scoured the area around a beach. After hours of search operations, I was forced to board a bus back home and I tried to peek out of the window to see if I could spot that person somewhere. The search teams feared the worst, but I held on to hope. In the nightmare, I wished it was just a nightmare. Thank God, it was!

I woke up as the bus passed over a pothole and wondered what must have happened next. I tried to sleep again, immediately, but in vain. Unlike most days, the nightmare didn't continue after the momentary break.

I had a realisation many years ago, after I lost a few people close to me. After that, I have been trying my best to be there for those I know and for some of those I don't know.

We get so busy in our everyday life, that we can't / don't give enough time to the ones we know.
Sometimes, we care only about the family we stay with and forget caring about the others, sometimes we care a lot about our friends and colleagues and forget the ones back home. And when such unfortunate things happen that we lose them, we wonder if only we could have spent some more time with them. If only we had sat with them more often and heard them out. If only we had called them more often. If only we had shared more smiles and lesser complaints. If only we could have cared more for them when they were ill. If only we were certain that on their deathbed, the people we knew weren't disappointed in us, that they were glad they had us in their life. If only we made the life of those who leave us wonderful!

If only, on our deathbed, we knew that we lived and loved and cared all right. We can still work towards it.

Let's do a reality check as it's the start of a New Year. Let's resolve to attain something that's bigger than money and fame. Let's have a bigger heart!
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PS It's very strange and very sad. Just when I sat to write this post, I read about a friend losing her mother. And just as I was about  to hit the Publish button on this post, I received a call about another friend losing her mother-in-law. May their souls rest in peace.