India is sick today!

Today, the roads are empty, the trains aren’t crowded and offices and colleges have very poor attendance. Why? Because most Indians are ‘sick’ today (read - they are gonna watch the India Pakistan World Cup 2011 semi-finals!). 

Thank God, this once, for the huge range and possibilities of medical problems that can be used as excuses to take a day off from work and colleges. 

Some of the common medical excuses that can be used are:

1. Viral fever / flu... You have been coming to work all these days with fever, but today it has crossed the 103 degrees mark
2. Bad cold... you can’t afford to be at office / college and spread the cold
3. Headache / migraine / sinus... blame it on the work / study pressure
4. Stomach upset... you were working late last night and had to order food from a local restaurant
5. Toothache... you have to get your root canal done today
6. Excessive dehydration... it’s the heat
7. Muscle sprain... you had to push your wardrobe to find an important document
8. Conjunctivitis... it spreads fast, doesn’t it?

Well, the can be really long but I’d rather concentrate on the match right now!

5 Excuses To Skip Office & Watch India Pakistan Match

We all are looking forward to watch the India-Pakistan World Cup 2011 Match. Some call it unnecessary hype, others speak diplomatically, but the fact is we all enjoy Ind-Pak cricket matches more than anything else (ask your heart!).

Oh, but India will take on Pakistan on a Wednesday, March 30 2011... a weekday when we can’t think of taking a day off. Or maybe we can by using any of these 5 creative excuses to take leave from office and watch the match comfortably:

1.       There was a break-in at my house and the thief took away the main door. Can’t lock my house, can’t come to work.
2.       I was using Fevikwik... par chutki hi chipak gayi. Tried separating the thumb and index finger but now all my fingers and toes are stuck together. Can’t move, can’t make it to work today.
3.       Broke my glasses, can’t find my contact lenses, can’t see a thing. How will I reach office?
4.       I just realised I was to get married today. With the extreme work pressure at office, I completely forgot about it.
5.       I have been kidnapped. They want you, my boss, to pay the ransom (your boss will hang up before you continue).

NOTE: Try these excuses at your own risk. Loss of job and kidnapping issues aren’t my responsibility. I am just trying to help here... there’s a huge screen at my office for the match ;) Hey don’t turn green now!

Holi 2011 Celebrations & Building Friends!

Nothing beats the fun of celebrating Holi in your building!

As kids, on the day of Holi, we used to hit the building terrace in the morning. Some drew water from the tanks and mix colours in buckets while others blocked the water exits on the terrace to create a little rangeela pond! After getting completely drenched and unrecognizable with all sorts of colours all over us, we would sit together for a session of Holi songs. Aah the Rang barse beegey chunarwaali and Holi ke din dil khil jaate hain...

Those were the days when playing with water balloons was not considered wrong. I and my brother would target the pedestrians from our house at the fourth floor and hide before they noticed us. But we were pretty sabhya at that time as well. We would not aim water balloons at: 

1. Elderly people
2. People perfectly dressed and on their way to work
3. Aunties and uncles who we thought would most definitely start screaming
4. People on bikes and bicycles

During our degree college days, for some reason the terrace was permanently locked and Holi masti stopped. And then for a few years Holi just meant a holiday with sweets and applying gulaal to family members and neighbours.

It was in the year 2009 that I played Holi with all the colours and water again. It was my first Holi after marriage and it was so much fun enjoying the festival with the neighbours from my new residence! I never thought the masti-Holi times would return again!

Today, we had a mega celebration at our building. Almost every resident turned up in the premises in the morning. There was an unlimited supply of colours (non-toxic, natural ones) and some buckets that did the magic. There's nothing like playing Holi with kids... doesn't it bring out the child in us? Team it with delicious pav bhaji, pulav and jalebi, and the get-together we await for months together! Can't thank the organisers enough!

We are lucky to have so many festivals, they bring us all together and make us smile and forget all routine for a while, isn't it?

If you managed to read this entire post, you might like my Holi articles on indiancolleges.com:

• Holi Festival: 10 Tips To Avoid Monday Blues, Greens And Pinks 
• Holi Festival: Dos & Don'ts

My 10 Excuses to Skip Exams

I got this chance to write an article on excuses to skip exams for indiancolleges.com. Well, I was more than happy to let my creative juices flow.

Image courtesy: indiancolleges.com

I have compiled a list of 10 Excuses to Skip Exams (ab college ke itney saalon baad aur kuch nahin yaad aaya) of which some are:

1. Play Ghajini. Enter the class with words like “Exam”, ”Math”, ”Answer Sheet”, ”Marks”, “No Cheating”... written all over you. Put up a blank face when anyone asks you anything.

2. ‘Faint’. ‘Regain consciousness’ after they sprinkle water on your face. Repeat this twice so that the invigilator is convinced that you are seriously sick.

8. Somehow manage to break a honeycomb and release a swarm of bees in the classroom. Apne saath doosre students ka bhi bhalaa karo ;)

10. Five minutes before it’s time to distribute question papers, keep insisting that you want the paper immediately. Piss the invigilator off by insisting every 10 seconds. And when he gives you the paper on time, look at your watch and tell him that you can’t accept the paper and appear for the exam now as rahu kaal has started!

Read the entire list here and if you wish to add ideas, please do so on the indiancolleges.com site.