When girls change their surname… some get lost

I don’t know about any other part of the world, but in India girls mostly change their surname to their husband’s surname after marriage. Don’t ask me why and all… I have no idea! However, nowadays many girls (all right, women) are retaining their maiden surnames or simply adding their husband’s surname after their full name. So I took complete advantage of this trend and Anuradha Khanna became Anuradha Khanna Pentapalli ;) Mera astitva bana raha ;)

Recently, I came across some of my school friends on Facebook and can’t explain the excitement of catching up with them after so many years. Obviously, I got into looking out for my other school friends on Facebook. Now here’s the reason behind this post – I find it almost impossible to trace my female friends from school. Why? Because they changed their surname! How on earth can someone looking for say Anuradha Khanna find her when her online presence is Anuradha Pentapalli… knowing that Anuradha is indeed a very common name!

Girls, here’s a request – even if you have changed your surname, please retain your maiden surname on your online profiles. Who knows some old friend somewhere wants to connect with you!

21 comments:

  1. Nice post. You have a good point. It is difficult to find someone in facebook when they change their last name.

    In USA, girls (women) follow 3 paths after marriage. 1. Do not change their last name. 2. Keep their maiden name as their middle name (as you have done). 3. Have a hyphenated last name (Anuradha Khanna-Pentapalli.

    I think if everyone uses the 3rd method, it would be easy to locate them in facebook.

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  2. thanks SG... had no idea how it happens in USA!

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  3. Hmmm... and it gets even more difficult when girls from some communities change even their first name after marriage!! I know one Sindhi community in which this is prevalent. A Deepa Gehi becomes Disha Kanar, a Reena Mehta becomes Aashna Sapru and a Darshana Dudeja becomes Dimple Chhoda!!!

    Am not kidding... These are real women... They each have facebook profiles. Luckily, I could track them because they have included all their names on FB. But what about the others who haven't?

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  4. changing both names!!! i can't even imagine doing that!

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  5. A thought provoking post! I think retaining the surname sounds good... just that the complete name becomes too long... lol

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  6. ya karan... my complete name with both surnames has 24 characters without spaces!!!

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  7. makes perfect sense . nice post!:)

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  8. Now the trend is changing and ladies are choosing not to change last names.
    Its been 3 years of our marriage and my wife have not used my surname.

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  9. I have seen a lot of my friends saving their maiden surnames in brackets for poor old schoolmates or friends to make the connection by. These days I mostly wait to be contacted, since there hasn't been a change in my name..:)

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  10. Point Taken!! That was short..but sharp!!

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  11. thanks guys for the comments. true, some of the people i know are also not changing their surnames!

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  12. Yeah! you are right, ll keep this in mind:)

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  13. I've had the same problem, trying to lookup my school & college friends. Just first name and you find thousands of them, with majority of them without even a profile pic. And surname, you don't happen to know!

    My surname has changed too. A lot of my friends managed to find me bcoz of my profile pic (they tell me I look the same!).

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  14. Good point! I feel there is no need to change any names - too many complications in the name of tradition.

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  15. Since changing to the hubby's surname has been an age-old tradition in India, not many will agree with a woman retaining her old surname because the former brings some sort of an unknown bonding with her husband...but as far as finding a friend in a social network is concerned, it's a good piece of advice to all the women out there!

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  16. ya may be guys shd start changing their surnames now!

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  17. Another difficulty is tracing friends who are elderly, say 50 plus and not using internet or computers. I am 66 yrs. Can children / grand children look at the list of my friends from past and help me trace them?

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  18. @Suresh... i understand... maybe if u know the names of thechildren / grandchildren of your elderly friends, your kids can find them on social networking sites and then fnd out about ur friends.

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  19. Really nice post Anu...following u..:)

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